You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
