Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
