Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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