i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
