what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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