just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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