Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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