I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Your topless pictures make me question reality
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
