Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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