Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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