I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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