theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
