the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
