where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
