She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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