trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
