I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
