We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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