fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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