as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
When did angry sex become our thing?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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