First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
