They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize