you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
