you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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