But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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