At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize