The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize