yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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