we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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