there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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