I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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