So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
