Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
