I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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