fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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