She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
