It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
