thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
