Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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