You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i just google imaged poop.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
