guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
