Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
