i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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