careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
