Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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