Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize