My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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