i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
