Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
