I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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