im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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