yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
