please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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