Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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