well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
