I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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