I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
