Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You work out of a Hotel?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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