how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
