Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
