I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
