oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
