Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
