god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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