let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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