i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
