don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
