I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
