people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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